The essence of the Fulfilling Relationship philosophy can be summed up in three sentences:
A relationship can only be truly fulfilling when two people join together as a team, whose explicit objective is to ensure that both people experience fulfilment in the relationship and in life generally.
To be a successful team, each team member needs to know that they are, both of them, in one and the same team, having one and the same objective.
The most powerful way of demonstrating to the other that you are on their team, is to always – without exception – make sure that any differences between the two of you are resolved in a way that is satisfying for them, as well as for yourself.
The strategies which translate this philosophy into practical reality, together form the Fulfilling Relationship Coaching Approach (see below). This highly effective approach to marriage and relationship coaching is based on a balanced combination of open sharing and guidance, effective exercises and enjoyable take-home tasks, which gently transform relationships from ordinary to extraordinary.
In this transformation old patterns of co-dependency, blaming and power struggles are replaced with support, friendship and equality. And as your relationship becomes anchored in true friendship and understanding, sincere trust grows naturally, and opens the doors to more intimacy, affection, appreciation and joy.
The Fulfilling Relationship Coaching Approach
The Fulfilling Relationship Coaching Approach for couples can be seen to have five, overlapping steps or aspects. For each of these aspects, there are certain skills that you need to learn and practise, in order for your relationship to become truly fulfilling.
1. Awareness and Communication
In Fulfilling Relationship Coaching you learn and practise:
- Awareness of your own feelings, thoughts, needs, wishes, actions, reactions, and of how you communicate these to your partner.
- Awareness of how and what your partner communicates to you.
- Communicating about sensitive issues, without attacking, blaming or causing defensive reactions.
- Using a structured combination of expressing feelings and listening actively, to achieve real understanding between you.
2. Mutually Satisfying Agreements
In Fulfilling Relationship Coaching you learn and practise:
- Identifying the areas of your relationship in which a lack of explicit agreements may be causing unnecessary difficulties.
- Negotiating constructively, by employing the EASE process, which leads to workable agreements that are equally satisfying for the both of you. [*see note at bottom of page]
- Using mutually satisfying agreements as a means to restore lost trust & respect.
3. Team Spirit and Togetherness
In Fulfilling Relationship Coaching you learn and practise:
- Applying the synergy principle, to make your relationship more rewarding for both of you.
- Pleasing each other in small and big ways, in every area of your life together.
- Using co-operation and team work to become a winning relationship team.
4. Conflict Resolution
In Fulfilling Relationship Coaching you learn and practise:
- Applying an “emergency brake” to save your relationship from destructive arguing.
- Focusing on what works – reinforce your protection against difficulties that could wedge you apart, by choosing the correct action.
- Tracing the spiral of emotional reactions backward, in order to free up “stuck conflicts”.
5 . Intimacy and Sex
In Fulfilling Relationship Coaching you learn and practise:
- Nurturing the attitude of openness and honesty which is necessary for intimacy to emerge between you.
- Developing deeper intimacy between you on a day-to-day basis, which also unlocks the secret to extending the joy in your sex life.
- Creating the harmonious balance between sex and affection, that is satisfying for you both.
- Defusing jealousy, rather than making it worse.
To find out more and/or to arrange a first appointment of Fulfilling Relationship Coaching, don’t delay – contact me today!
[* read more about ‘the EASE process’ (opens in a new tab, on Integrating Awareness website)]